Another Love Story

This is another love story, but it doesn’t have an ending, not for the time being. It started off few years ago, after the millennium. I never get Internet ready until after the millennium, when most people ask me why, I just said that it is because of the millennium bug. Actually, the real reason is that I don’t feel the need for it until I came back for my advance diploma.

Life is boring in Singapore, maybe only applied to me. So I was back in Singapore and I am back in poly, and I know that it is going to be a long boring one full year for me. It was one boring afternoon in early February; I went down to Bugis for a walk after I finish my class in poly. I happen to wander into an Internet café and decided to give a try on the Internet. I was sitting in front of the computer staring at the monitor screen, didn’t know where I should start.

Just then I saw a double deck bus passing by outside the café, and there is an ad on a popular website printed on the bus. So I decided to give it a try, and I typed the website address into the browser. It was a good website, I never knew it until much later. I manage to found a chat room channel and went in there for a chat. I didn’t know what nick to use, so I put a make believe name of Hydro, never knew that I was struck with this nick for the rest of my life.

From that chat room, I get to know a lot of friends, mostly girls of course. I slowly get to learn more and more things on the Internet after that, starting from email, messaging, homepage, forum and more. I was kind of addicted to the Internet, never ever able to quit it until now.

It was one evening, about one month later; I was in the same chat room chatting with my regular chat room friends. Katze a nick who have remain silent in the chat room for the pass one month start to PM me, saying that she would like to know more about me, so we start chatting in private.

“Why use a nick as Hydro?”

“The reason for this nick is that I just attend a lesson one morning about machinery lubrication; it can be Hydrodynamic or Hydrostatic. It kind of suit the double personality of me, the dynamic side of me is the cheerful outdoor type who will try any thing for an adventure, the static side of me is the quiet indoor type who can sit down peacefully to enjoy reading a book with a background of smoothing music. And Hydro is another name for water, which is an element that had been closely relate to me since the day I was born. What about you? Why Katze?”

“It is German for Cat.”

“You like cats? You know German?”

“Yes and yes, because I admire the German artist Vincent Van Gogh.”

“Starry Starry Night?”

“How did you know about that?”

“A song I like a lot.”

“Me too, it’s by Don Mclean and the actual name of the song is Vincent.”

Since then Starry Starry Night or so call Vincent have been the song for Katze and me, just like the song Love Me by Collin Raye have been the song for MG and me.

“Why the sudden silent”

“Suddenly thought of my ex girlfriend.”

“You still love her a lot?”

“I don’t know, use to fold 500 paper cranes for her.”

“That is so romantic, just like Vincent Van Gogh.”

“No, Vincent Van Gogh is insane, he cut his ear off.”

“Love is crazy.”

“You like poems?”

“Yes, why?”

“I give you my homepage address, I have posted some of my work there, just tell me what you think after reading that.”

“Ok.”

We log off after that, promise that we will be there for each other at the same time every night.

“Have you read my poems? What did you think about it?”

“Yes, and I felt the sorrow and loneliness in it.”

“How can that be? Most of my friends say that it give them a feeling of a carefree spirit after reading it.”

She was right, she seem to be the only one who can feel what my heart really felt deep inside.

“I saw your photos too, you are so tall and handsome. I always want a boyfriend that look like you.”

“What about you? It is kind of unfair now that you know how I look and I know nothing about you.”

“I don’t have any homepage, do you have ICQ? I send it to you.”

“I Seek You? Sure.”

She was a simple looking girl, but I knew there is a beautiful soul hiding inside there. Since then we switch from chat room to ICQ, until one year later.

“I am finishing my course and I will be going oversea soon, I will not be able to use chat room or ICQ. I give you my email address.”

“Ok, sure.”

She did send me email, nothing interesting except one.

‘The fish is crying, but the water is unable to see it’

I replied.

‘Water doesn’t need to see the tears, because he can feel the fish in his heart.’

It was six long months; actually it would not be so bad if not of the terrorist act on the world trade center. I felt that life is short, so I decide to go Guang Zhou for a tour just to meet Katze in person. I manage to contact her on ICQ and got her mobile phone number. There she was wait patiently for me when I walk out of the airport on a Saturday afternoon in late December.

The first two days were the happiest time of my life since MG left me, we been to many places. Her knowledge in history was amazing, and I just kept quiet and listen. It was Sunday night; we were walking along Pearl River wanting to buy ticket for the river cruise. Some kids were selling roses there, and I brought a stalk for her. We were trying to cross the road, and I make use of the chance to hold her hand. I don’t know what I am thinking that time, I kind of thought about MG and quickly let go of her hand after we cross the road.

“You are still in love with MG until now?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

“I can never ever take a place in your heart if MG is still inside there.”

The rest of the night pass by in silent, I know the fish is crying again, I don’t need to see the tears cause I can feel it in my heart.

The rest of my stay in Guang Zhou was miserable; I tried to send a SMS to her every night but no reply ever come back.

Monday night.

‘Because of you, I spend half year of my saving to come all the way to see you. Because of this meet up, I even practice the way I breathe. Words can never express even 0.1% of my feeling for you. Because of this, I toss and turn in the night, unable to fall asleep.’

Tuesday night.

‘The way you care for me is the tragic that goes unnoticed by me. It only locks onto my heart whenever you are not around me. The friendliness that you have shown me is the regret of my life. It only shown on you face whenever I hurt you.’

Wednesday night.

‘Put my truthful love inside your palm, maybe we will be able to meet again someday. Write your name inside my heart, so that the storm will not be able to disturb the peacefulness inside.’

I left Guang Zhou with a broken heart. Never heard from her again until another six months later.

She sent me an email.

‘Loving a sailor is a high price to pay,

Loving him truly is hard when he is away,

It is being alone with nothing to hold,

It is being young but feelings so old,

It is having him whisper his love for you,

It is whispering back you love him too,

There comes a kiss and a promise for more,

As his ship slowly glides away from the shore,

Reluctantly, painfully letting her goes,

While your inside are dying from wanting him so,

Watching him leave with eyes full of tears,

Standing alone with your hopes, dreams and fears,

It is sending a letter with the stamp upside down,

To a far away love in a far away town,

It is going to temple to kneel and pray,

And really meaning the things you says,

Being in love will foster your dreams,

Of that far away sailor your mind fairly beams,

Days go by, no mail for a spell,

You wait for some word to hear that he is well,'

Then a letter arrives and you are given in,

To open his letter and read it with a grin,

Yes, he is well and misses you so,

And filled with the love you wanted to know,

Weeks are like months and months are like years,

You wait for the day when you will have no more fears,

Days go by slowly, how many have passed,

Then suddenly you realize it is here at last,

Yes, loving a sailor bitterness and fears,

Loneliness, sadness and despondent years,

Loving a sailor is no fun,

But it is worth the price when the battle is won

And remember he is thinking of you everyday,

He is sad and he is lonely while so far away,

So love him and miss him and hold your head high,

Be strong and have faith, wipe that tears from your eyes,

Your man is a seafarer, like that old ancient trader,

It is a high price you pay for loving a sailor!’

I replied.

‘I shouldn’t have thought about MG and let go of your hand, I should have give you a kiss before I left.’