You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. You wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”
“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”
“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnations of you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who ever lived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions he killed.”
“I’m Jesus?”
“And you’re everyone who followed him.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”
“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way. Philosophery
Monday, December 13, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
An Enchanted Voyage
A dream fulfilled, a fairy tale in the sea. I had spend most of my life working onboard ship, and it had always been my dream to spend a trip onboard a ship without any work involve. The main concern I had is not about the money, but mainly because of the time itself. I had been very busy with my work all these years and never really got a chance to pursuit the kind of life I really wanted. So it had come to a point where enough is enough, and I had to make a drastic decision to get myself away from my work to pursuit a dream which I had never got a chance to fulfill. My management might hate me for my decision as I am suppose to guide the new Assistance Technical Superintendent on the docking repair of the vessel Avon.
I got a very good wife, a wife which a most men could only dream of. She had been very accommodating with me on my work, and had never complaint even I had never bring her on any oversea trip for more than two years. The last trip we had was a family trip to Vietnam when I left my last company. This trip was the only compensation I could make up to her after all these years where we had been married. So I book for the trip on the internet and apply for my annual leave the next working day when I am back at the office. It was exactly one month before my birthday, and everything seem to fall right into place with the Gala Dinner onboard the cruise ship on the exact day of my birthday.
I always wanted a balcony, but my mom had destroy my dream due to her selfishness when we first renovate our new house thirteen years ago. I was very lucky as the tour agency had inform me that there is only one Ocean View State Room with Balcony left when I book for the cruise. It was a chance not to be miss, and I had made the right decision on the spot without much hesitation. I had never regret that harsh decision as both my wife and me actually enjoy the coming voyage which was so enchanting that we forgot everything we left behind back in Singapore.
The whole package cost S$2,218 for two, with Cabin Fare of S$988, Passenger Handling Charge of S$100 and Fuel Surcharge of S$21 per person. We get to enjoy priority embarkation with complimentary drinks, dinning credit of S$200, special access to SPA facilities and exclusive balcony class seat at the Theater.
Day 1 5th Dec 2010 Sunday
We arrival at 1400 hrs on 5th Dec 2010 at Singapore Cruise Center to check in our baggage, proceed to register for our access card and immigration clearance at Level 2 before we board the vessel. We arrival at our new home at about 1530 hrs and was welcome by the staffs with the complementary drinks at the Grand Piazza at Deck 7. I spend S$128 of dinning credit for a Yellow Label Champagne for the Gala Dinner, and proceed to Deck 11 to leave our bags at our Room 11036.
We were a bit late when we arrive at Lido Theater at 1615 hrs for the booking of Restaurant for the Gala Dinner, both Samurai at Deck 8 (Japanese) and Noble House at Deck 7 (Chinese) were already fully book by the queue number 30 and below, and the queue number we get for our booking is 134. So the next better choice we have is the Western Set Dinner at Bella Vista located at Deck 6. The staffs come and pester us to spend our remain dining credit on another bottle of Canalleto Pinot Grigio (Sparking White Wine) which cost S$50 and Chateau Los Boldos Cabernet Sauvignon (Red Wine) which cost S$39. I had over spend S$17 on top of my S$200 dining credit within an hour onboard the vessel, but at least I got two bottle of wine to bring back after the trip.
It was Afternoon Tea at Mediterranean at Deck 12 at 1630 hrs, then it was Carnival Opening Ceremony at Grand Piazza at Deck 7 at 1745 hrs, Sail Away Party at Parthenon Pool at Deck 12 at 1800 hrs and Ship Tour at Deck 12 Activity Center at 1830 hrs. We have our Dinner at Mediterranean at Deck 12 at 1900 hrs and return back to our Room 11036 at Deck 11 at 1945 hrs to wash up for the evening.
Carnival Opening Ceremony at Grand Piazza at Deck 7 at 1745 hrs
I actually planned for the 2015 hrs Juggling Show at Lido Theater at Deck 7 but my wife had took too much time in her shower and I had to change the plan for the evening to Line Dancing at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 2100 hrs instead. Another S$16 was spend on Cocktail Drink while we were at Galaxy Of The Star. We manage to catch the second Juggling Show at Lido Theater at Deck 7 at 2200 hrs before we call it a day at 2245 hrs.
Day 2 6th Dec 2010 Monday
We woke up the next day morning at 0730 hrs and have our Breakfast at Pavilion at Deck 6 at 0800 hrs. It was Line Dancing with Snowman at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 0930 hrs, Latin Groove at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1000 hrs and S$30,000 Bingo at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1100 hrs. I brought two set of Bingo Ticket at S$30 and get a free Bingo Ticket for Bingo Bonanza on Wednesday Morning, I also brought five Instant Win Ticket at S$20 which give one more free Instant Win Ticket. We did not manage to win the Bingo but we did manage to win S$4 from the Instant Win. We have to go all the way to Oasis Casino to claim the prize money for the Instant Win.
We have our Lunch at Pavilion at Deck 6 at 1200 hrs and prepare for our City and Shopping Tour in Penang at 1430 hrs. The vessel arrive at Penang at 1400 hrs and we gather at Lido Theater at Deck 7 at 1415 hrs for the Tour. The Tour cost S$55 per person and include Trishaw Ride, Wat Chayamankalaram Temple Visit and Shopping at Gurney Plaza. We get to buy some Local Delights at Shop and I spend RM 206 for some coffee, biscuit and medicate oil. We have our light dinner at Gurney Drive Hawker, RM 4 for Fried Kway Teow, RM 6 for Satay and RM 4 for Coconut. I brought a Ocean Blue Sapphire Pendant with Platinum Gold Chain for RM 902 at Gold Heart Jewelry at Gurney Plaza for my wife and I was entitled to 9 Lucky Draw Coupon which give me a chance to win a car.
Wat Chayamankalaram Temple at Penang Island
We arrive back at the vessel at 1930 hrs and have our Dinner at Pavilion at Deck 6 at 2000 hrs before we head back to our Room 11036 to wash up for the evening. We went for the Spotlight Crew Show at Lido Theater at Deck 7 at 2145 hrs and call it a day at 2230 hrs.
Day 3 7th Dec 2010 Tuesday
We woke up late the next day morning at 0730 hrs as my mobile phone had adjust its time to an hour later to match the Thailand Time Zone. We decided to skip breakfast and bring along the biscuit we brought yesterday and gather at Lido Theater at Deck 7 at 0745 hrs for the Elephant Riding Adventure Tour. The Tour cost S$85 per person and include visit to Cashew Nut Factory, Elephant Ride at Adventure Safari, Wat Chalong Thai Temple Visit and Thai Buffet Lunch. I spend 650 Baht for the Elephant Ride Photos, 270 Baht on Cashew Nut, 102 Baht on Tiramisu Chocolate and 800 Baht for a dress and two hand bags for wife. We manage to go for Traditional Thai Massage for Two at Grand Merlini SPA at 1500 Baht at Patong Beach and tips the Therapists 100 Baht each for their excellence services.
Cashew Nut Factory at Phuket Island
We arrive back at the vessel at 1630 hrs and wash up for the evening to prepare for the Gala Dinner that night. The evening started with Fashion Show at Grand Piazza at Deck 7 at 1755 hrs, follow by Gala Cocktails at Bellini at Deck 8 at 1815 hrs. The Gala Dinner started at Bella Vista at Deck 6 at 1845 hrs and we have Baked Escargot and Smoked Salmon and Nori for our appetizer, Ox Tail Broth and Cream Of Mushroom for our soup, Grilled Beef Tenderloin and Seafood Thermidor Style Gratin for our main course and finish with Baked Alaska for our dessert. I got a complimentary birthday cake from Blue Lagoon at Deck 7 and it was delivered to our table 55 at Bella Vista with birthday song from all the staffs there.
Gala Dinner at Bella Vista at Deck 6 at 1845 hrs
It was Gala Show Rasputin at Lido Theater at Deck 7 at 2115 hrs, Juggling Lesson with Terry Parade at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 2200 hrs, Game Show with Cruise Director JM at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 2240 hrs. I brought the Terry Parade DVD for S$25 and we call it a day at 2310 hrs and went back to our Room 11036.
Day 4 8th Dec 2010 Wednesday
We had breakfast at Bella Vista at Deck 6 at 0800 hrs the next day morning and Tinikling Traditional Filipino Bamboo Dance at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1000 hrs. I took part in the Game Show The Weakest Link at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1030 hrs and manage to survive until Round Three before I was eliminated. It was Bingo Bonanza at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1115 hrs after that and Lunch at Bella Vista at Deck 6 at 1200 hrs. We spend S$50 on the Slot Machine at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 after Lunch and my wife actually manage to get the winning to S$65 with three lucky hit. But we did not walk away and decided to finish all the credit while we wait for the S$38,000 Bingo at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1400 hrs.
It was Hip Hop Dance at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1500 hrs and we went back to our Room 11036 to wash up for the day at 1545 hrs and check out at Reception Counter at Deck 7 at 1630 hrs. We had our last dinner at Bella Vista at Deck 6 at 1700 hrs and get off the vessel at 1930 hrs.
I got a very good wife, a wife which a most men could only dream of. She had been very accommodating with me on my work, and had never complaint even I had never bring her on any oversea trip for more than two years. The last trip we had was a family trip to Vietnam when I left my last company. This trip was the only compensation I could make up to her after all these years where we had been married. So I book for the trip on the internet and apply for my annual leave the next working day when I am back at the office. It was exactly one month before my birthday, and everything seem to fall right into place with the Gala Dinner onboard the cruise ship on the exact day of my birthday.
I always wanted a balcony, but my mom had destroy my dream due to her selfishness when we first renovate our new house thirteen years ago. I was very lucky as the tour agency had inform me that there is only one Ocean View State Room with Balcony left when I book for the cruise. It was a chance not to be miss, and I had made the right decision on the spot without much hesitation. I had never regret that harsh decision as both my wife and me actually enjoy the coming voyage which was so enchanting that we forgot everything we left behind back in Singapore.
The whole package cost S$2,218 for two, with Cabin Fare of S$988, Passenger Handling Charge of S$100 and Fuel Surcharge of S$21 per person. We get to enjoy priority embarkation with complimentary drinks, dinning credit of S$200, special access to SPA facilities and exclusive balcony class seat at the Theater.
Day 1 5th Dec 2010 Sunday
We arrival at 1400 hrs on 5th Dec 2010 at Singapore Cruise Center to check in our baggage, proceed to register for our access card and immigration clearance at Level 2 before we board the vessel. We arrival at our new home at about 1530 hrs and was welcome by the staffs with the complementary drinks at the Grand Piazza at Deck 7. I spend S$128 of dinning credit for a Yellow Label Champagne for the Gala Dinner, and proceed to Deck 11 to leave our bags at our Room 11036.
We were a bit late when we arrive at Lido Theater at 1615 hrs for the booking of Restaurant for the Gala Dinner, both Samurai at Deck 8 (Japanese) and Noble House at Deck 7 (Chinese) were already fully book by the queue number 30 and below, and the queue number we get for our booking is 134. So the next better choice we have is the Western Set Dinner at Bella Vista located at Deck 6. The staffs come and pester us to spend our remain dining credit on another bottle of Canalleto Pinot Grigio (Sparking White Wine) which cost S$50 and Chateau Los Boldos Cabernet Sauvignon (Red Wine) which cost S$39. I had over spend S$17 on top of my S$200 dining credit within an hour onboard the vessel, but at least I got two bottle of wine to bring back after the trip.
It was Afternoon Tea at Mediterranean at Deck 12 at 1630 hrs, then it was Carnival Opening Ceremony at Grand Piazza at Deck 7 at 1745 hrs, Sail Away Party at Parthenon Pool at Deck 12 at 1800 hrs and Ship Tour at Deck 12 Activity Center at 1830 hrs. We have our Dinner at Mediterranean at Deck 12 at 1900 hrs and return back to our Room 11036 at Deck 11 at 1945 hrs to wash up for the evening.
Carnival Opening Ceremony at Grand Piazza at Deck 7 at 1745 hrs
I actually planned for the 2015 hrs Juggling Show at Lido Theater at Deck 7 but my wife had took too much time in her shower and I had to change the plan for the evening to Line Dancing at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 2100 hrs instead. Another S$16 was spend on Cocktail Drink while we were at Galaxy Of The Star. We manage to catch the second Juggling Show at Lido Theater at Deck 7 at 2200 hrs before we call it a day at 2245 hrs.
Day 2 6th Dec 2010 Monday
We woke up the next day morning at 0730 hrs and have our Breakfast at Pavilion at Deck 6 at 0800 hrs. It was Line Dancing with Snowman at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 0930 hrs, Latin Groove at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1000 hrs and S$30,000 Bingo at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1100 hrs. I brought two set of Bingo Ticket at S$30 and get a free Bingo Ticket for Bingo Bonanza on Wednesday Morning, I also brought five Instant Win Ticket at S$20 which give one more free Instant Win Ticket. We did not manage to win the Bingo but we did manage to win S$4 from the Instant Win. We have to go all the way to Oasis Casino to claim the prize money for the Instant Win.
We have our Lunch at Pavilion at Deck 6 at 1200 hrs and prepare for our City and Shopping Tour in Penang at 1430 hrs. The vessel arrive at Penang at 1400 hrs and we gather at Lido Theater at Deck 7 at 1415 hrs for the Tour. The Tour cost S$55 per person and include Trishaw Ride, Wat Chayamankalaram Temple Visit and Shopping at Gurney Plaza. We get to buy some Local Delights at Shop and I spend RM 206 for some coffee, biscuit and medicate oil. We have our light dinner at Gurney Drive Hawker, RM 4 for Fried Kway Teow, RM 6 for Satay and RM 4 for Coconut. I brought a Ocean Blue Sapphire Pendant with Platinum Gold Chain for RM 902 at Gold Heart Jewelry at Gurney Plaza for my wife and I was entitled to 9 Lucky Draw Coupon which give me a chance to win a car.
Wat Chayamankalaram Temple at Penang Island
We arrive back at the vessel at 1930 hrs and have our Dinner at Pavilion at Deck 6 at 2000 hrs before we head back to our Room 11036 to wash up for the evening. We went for the Spotlight Crew Show at Lido Theater at Deck 7 at 2145 hrs and call it a day at 2230 hrs.
Day 3 7th Dec 2010 Tuesday
We woke up late the next day morning at 0730 hrs as my mobile phone had adjust its time to an hour later to match the Thailand Time Zone. We decided to skip breakfast and bring along the biscuit we brought yesterday and gather at Lido Theater at Deck 7 at 0745 hrs for the Elephant Riding Adventure Tour. The Tour cost S$85 per person and include visit to Cashew Nut Factory, Elephant Ride at Adventure Safari, Wat Chalong Thai Temple Visit and Thai Buffet Lunch. I spend 650 Baht for the Elephant Ride Photos, 270 Baht on Cashew Nut, 102 Baht on Tiramisu Chocolate and 800 Baht for a dress and two hand bags for wife. We manage to go for Traditional Thai Massage for Two at Grand Merlini SPA at 1500 Baht at Patong Beach and tips the Therapists 100 Baht each for their excellence services.
Cashew Nut Factory at Phuket Island
We arrive back at the vessel at 1630 hrs and wash up for the evening to prepare for the Gala Dinner that night. The evening started with Fashion Show at Grand Piazza at Deck 7 at 1755 hrs, follow by Gala Cocktails at Bellini at Deck 8 at 1815 hrs. The Gala Dinner started at Bella Vista at Deck 6 at 1845 hrs and we have Baked Escargot and Smoked Salmon and Nori for our appetizer, Ox Tail Broth and Cream Of Mushroom for our soup, Grilled Beef Tenderloin and Seafood Thermidor Style Gratin for our main course and finish with Baked Alaska for our dessert. I got a complimentary birthday cake from Blue Lagoon at Deck 7 and it was delivered to our table 55 at Bella Vista with birthday song from all the staffs there.
Gala Dinner at Bella Vista at Deck 6 at 1845 hrs
It was Gala Show Rasputin at Lido Theater at Deck 7 at 2115 hrs, Juggling Lesson with Terry Parade at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 2200 hrs, Game Show with Cruise Director JM at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 2240 hrs. I brought the Terry Parade DVD for S$25 and we call it a day at 2310 hrs and went back to our Room 11036.
Day 4 8th Dec 2010 Wednesday
We had breakfast at Bella Vista at Deck 6 at 0800 hrs the next day morning and Tinikling Traditional Filipino Bamboo Dance at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1000 hrs. I took part in the Game Show The Weakest Link at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1030 hrs and manage to survive until Round Three before I was eliminated. It was Bingo Bonanza at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1115 hrs after that and Lunch at Bella Vista at Deck 6 at 1200 hrs. We spend S$50 on the Slot Machine at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 after Lunch and my wife actually manage to get the winning to S$65 with three lucky hit. But we did not walk away and decided to finish all the credit while we wait for the S$38,000 Bingo at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1400 hrs.
It was Hip Hop Dance at Galaxy Of The Star at Deck 12 at 1500 hrs and we went back to our Room 11036 to wash up for the day at 1545 hrs and check out at Reception Counter at Deck 7 at 1630 hrs. We had our last dinner at Bella Vista at Deck 6 at 1700 hrs and get off the vessel at 1930 hrs.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Proofs that Santa doesn't exist.
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has
1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 71.604 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.
On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.
We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second each.
In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa,meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's been vaporized by now.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has
1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 71.604 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.
On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.
We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second each.
In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa,meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's been vaporized by now.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Baba Vanga Prophecies
2010: World War 3 begins in November 2010. Starting as a regular war, it will progress to a nuclear and chemical war. Vanga says the war will be finished by October 2014.
2011: As a result of the war, radioactive showers will destroy almost all life in the Northern Hemisphere. The remaining Europeans will face an even further threat from the Muslims who will use chemical weapons to finish them off.
2014: As another result of the chemicals and nuclear weapons during the war, most of the world population will have skin cancer and other skin diseases.
2016: Europe is nearly uninhabited.
2018: China will become the new superpower. The exploiters will become the exploited.
2023: The Earth's orbit will change.
2025: Europe is still very underpopulated.
2028: A new energy source will be found. Hunger is overcome. A manned space flight will leave for Venus.
2033: The world water levels will rise as the polar ice caps melt.
2043: Economy is good. The Muslims will run Europe.
2046: All bodily organs can be reproduced, becoming the easiest and most popular method of treatment.
2066: The U.S. uses a new climate-changing weapon on Muslim controlled Rome.
2076: Communism takes over.
2084: Nature is reborn.(??)
2088: A new disease makes you grow old in seconds.
2097: The Fast-Aging Disease is cured.
2100: Man-made sun is lighting up the dark side of the planet.
2111: People become robots. Probably like androids.
2123: Wars between small countries. The big countries stay out of it.
2125: Signals from Space will be received in Hungary. (People will be reminded of Baba Vanga - probably due to her alien subjects)
2130: With the help of the aliens, civilizations will live underwater.
2164: Animals turn half-human.
2167: A new religion.
2170: Major drought.
2183: A colony on Mars will become a nuclear power and ask for independance from Earth. (Like the U.S. asked from England.)
2187: 2 large volcanic eruptions will be successfully stopped.
2195: The sea colonies will have energy and food.
2196: Asians and Europeans will be completely mixed.
2201: Temperatures drop as the sun's thermonuclear processes slow down.
2221: In the search for extra-terrestrial life, humans will come in contact with something terrible.
2256: A spaceship will bring a new disease to Earth.
2262: Planets will slowly change orbits. Mars will be threatened by a comet.
2271: Physics laws will be changed.
2273: White, black and yellow races will form 1 new race.
2279: Power will be obtained from nothing. (Possibly a vacuum or a black hole.)
2288: Possible time travel and alien contact.
2291: The sun grows cooler. Attempts will be made to make it hot again.
2296: Strong explosions in the sun. The forces of gravity will change. Old space stations and satellites will fall.
2299: In France, a resistance movement will rise against Islam.
2302: Important laws and secrets of the universe are revealed.
2304: Secrets of the Moon are also revealed.
2341: Something terrible will approach Earth from Space.
2354: An accident on the artificial sun will result in drought.
2371: World hunger.
2378: A new and fast-growing race.
2480: 2 artificial (man-made) suns will collide and leave the Earth in the dark.
3005: A war on Mars will change the trajectory of the planet.
3010: A comet will hit the moon. The Earth will be surrounded by a ring of rock and ash.
3797: By this time, everything on Earth will die. However, human civilization will be advanced enough to move to a new star system.
3803: A new planet is populated by little. Fewer contacts between people. Climate new planet affects the organisms of people - they mutate.
3805: The war between humans for resources. More than half of people dying out.
3815: The war is over.
3854: The development of civilization virtually stops. People live flocks as beasts.
3871: New prophet tells people about moral values, religion.
3874: New prophet receives support from all segments of the population. Organized a new church.
3878: along with the Church to re-train new people forgotten sciences.
4302: New cities are growing in the world. New Church encourages the development of new technology and science.
4302: The development of science. Scientists discovered in the overall impact of all diseases in organism behavior.
4304: Found a way to win any disease.
4308: Due to mutation people at last beginning to use their brains more than 34%. Completely lost the notion of evil and hatred.
4509: Getting to Know God. The man has finally been reached such a level of development that can communicate with God.
4599: People achieve immortality.
4674: The development of civilization has reached its peak. The number of people living on different planets is about 340 billion. Assimilation begins with aliens.
5076: A boundary universe. With it, no one knows.
5078: The decision to leave the boundaries of the universe. While about 40 percent of the population is against it.
5079: End of the World.
2011: As a result of the war, radioactive showers will destroy almost all life in the Northern Hemisphere. The remaining Europeans will face an even further threat from the Muslims who will use chemical weapons to finish them off.
2014: As another result of the chemicals and nuclear weapons during the war, most of the world population will have skin cancer and other skin diseases.
2016: Europe is nearly uninhabited.
2018: China will become the new superpower. The exploiters will become the exploited.
2023: The Earth's orbit will change.
2025: Europe is still very underpopulated.
2028: A new energy source will be found. Hunger is overcome. A manned space flight will leave for Venus.
2033: The world water levels will rise as the polar ice caps melt.
2043: Economy is good. The Muslims will run Europe.
2046: All bodily organs can be reproduced, becoming the easiest and most popular method of treatment.
2066: The U.S. uses a new climate-changing weapon on Muslim controlled Rome.
2076: Communism takes over.
2084: Nature is reborn.(??)
2088: A new disease makes you grow old in seconds.
2097: The Fast-Aging Disease is cured.
2100: Man-made sun is lighting up the dark side of the planet.
2111: People become robots. Probably like androids.
2123: Wars between small countries. The big countries stay out of it.
2125: Signals from Space will be received in Hungary. (People will be reminded of Baba Vanga - probably due to her alien subjects)
2130: With the help of the aliens, civilizations will live underwater.
2164: Animals turn half-human.
2167: A new religion.
2170: Major drought.
2183: A colony on Mars will become a nuclear power and ask for independance from Earth. (Like the U.S. asked from England.)
2187: 2 large volcanic eruptions will be successfully stopped.
2195: The sea colonies will have energy and food.
2196: Asians and Europeans will be completely mixed.
2201: Temperatures drop as the sun's thermonuclear processes slow down.
2221: In the search for extra-terrestrial life, humans will come in contact with something terrible.
2256: A spaceship will bring a new disease to Earth.
2262: Planets will slowly change orbits. Mars will be threatened by a comet.
2271: Physics laws will be changed.
2273: White, black and yellow races will form 1 new race.
2279: Power will be obtained from nothing. (Possibly a vacuum or a black hole.)
2288: Possible time travel and alien contact.
2291: The sun grows cooler. Attempts will be made to make it hot again.
2296: Strong explosions in the sun. The forces of gravity will change. Old space stations and satellites will fall.
2299: In France, a resistance movement will rise against Islam.
2302: Important laws and secrets of the universe are revealed.
2304: Secrets of the Moon are also revealed.
2341: Something terrible will approach Earth from Space.
2354: An accident on the artificial sun will result in drought.
2371: World hunger.
2378: A new and fast-growing race.
2480: 2 artificial (man-made) suns will collide and leave the Earth in the dark.
3005: A war on Mars will change the trajectory of the planet.
3010: A comet will hit the moon. The Earth will be surrounded by a ring of rock and ash.
3797: By this time, everything on Earth will die. However, human civilization will be advanced enough to move to a new star system.
3803: A new planet is populated by little. Fewer contacts between people. Climate new planet affects the organisms of people - they mutate.
3805: The war between humans for resources. More than half of people dying out.
3815: The war is over.
3854: The development of civilization virtually stops. People live flocks as beasts.
3871: New prophet tells people about moral values, religion.
3874: New prophet receives support from all segments of the population. Organized a new church.
3878: along with the Church to re-train new people forgotten sciences.
4302: New cities are growing in the world. New Church encourages the development of new technology and science.
4302: The development of science. Scientists discovered in the overall impact of all diseases in organism behavior.
4304: Found a way to win any disease.
4308: Due to mutation people at last beginning to use their brains more than 34%. Completely lost the notion of evil and hatred.
4509: Getting to Know God. The man has finally been reached such a level of development that can communicate with God.
4599: People achieve immortality.
4674: The development of civilization has reached its peak. The number of people living on different planets is about 340 billion. Assimilation begins with aliens.
5076: A boundary universe. With it, no one knows.
5078: The decision to leave the boundaries of the universe. While about 40 percent of the population is against it.
5079: End of the World.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Legend Of Singapore Feng Shui
WHY PLANT TREES?
Ever wonder why Singapore is known as a Garden City?
Why would Singapore go around planting trees?
After all, maintaining a Garden City is very expensive.
Well, here's the answer:
If you were to look at Singapore from the top, Singapore resembles a Crab, with its Mouth the Singapore River and its Back facing Malaysia. We all know that Cooked Crab (that means Dead Crab) is Red, the colour of Barren Ground. But a Live Crab is basically a Dark Shade of Green.
So,by planting trees, you make Singapore look Green and not Red, and therefore alive.
TWO PROMINENT DISTRICTS:
Lee Kuan Yew runs Tanjung Pagar while Goh Chok Tong is in Marine Parade. If you look at Singapore as a Crab again, these two locations are situated at the positions where the Claws of a Crab will be. We know the strongest parts of a Crab are its Claws, so there they are.
HOW SINGAPORE WAS CONQUERED:
To kill a Crab, you stick the Chopstick at the side of the Crab, which is exactly where the Japanese attacked and conquered Singapore.
KALLANG RIVER CLEAN-UP:
Why clean up a River that spells different memories for many Singaporeans and was one of the reasons for our Prosperity in the early years?
During the 80's Recession, we had just completed the Benjamin Sheares Bridge, which happens to suspend over the Singapore River, the Mouth of the Crab. This is as good as tying the Mouth of the Crab, thus choking it which explains the Recession. In order to get out of it, one way was to clean up the River so that the Mouth is Clean and Wealth can flow in without Obstruction. Sounds Unbelievable? But it seems Logical, doesn't it?
ONE DOLLAR COIN:
Here's another thing for you to think about whether you believe it or not. Please reach into your Pocket and search for a One Dollar Coin, and take a good look at it. It is round, no doubt, but it also has a unique Octagonal design which is an important Symbol in Chinese Geomancy or Feng Shui. This is where the Story of this Coin begins. On the Island of Singapore lived a very Influential Man named Lee. He is very particular about Feng Shui, Man's Balance with Nature. There is a particular day and also time of day to inaugurate any important Event. There is also a particular colour of Dress, when it comes to important Occasions, and so on. He has a Feng Shui Mentor - a Famous Monk, a particular Venerable who died recently. Lee would seek the advice of this Venerable, whenever he had to make an important decision.
The One Dollar Coin came into Circulation at the time of the MRT Construction on the Island (check the date if you don't believe me). The story goes that the Venerable had advised Lee that MRT tunnelling work would be bad for the Feng Shui of the Island, its Prosperity, etc. Firm however on pushing ahead with the project, Lee asked if there was anything that could be done to circumvent the bad Feng Shui. "Yes", replied the Venerable, "but it may be impossible to implement". Said Lee to the Venerable - please speak. The Venerable then said that Every Household on this Island must have or must display a 'Pak Kwa' or Symbolic Octagonal (Eight Sided) object. Oh no, there would definitely be Racial Riots. How could Lee force every household to have a 'Pak Kwa' then at home?
Hehheh... said the wise Lee - I have an idea. I know how to make Everybody like to have as many 'Pak Kwas' as possible and so, our One Dollar Coin was born.
But then, the Economy didn't do quite as well as expected after the Circulation of the One Dollar Coin. Remember the '85/86 recession??
So the Honorary Venerable was consulted again. He said that whilst the One Dollar Coin did symbolise the Pak Kwa, it was of no use if everyone had it in his pocket and failed to Display it. So the next novel idea was born the Road Tax Label If you recall, it used to be round and now, it's Octagon and it is Displayed. Maybe now, you think this explains the many years of Booming Economy Singapore had been experiencing.
However, with the recent turmoil in the region and now that the Venerable is no longer around, what shall we do next? Know any Feng Shui Experts?
By the way, the Monk mentioned is the Ex Head of a Temple. When he passed away several years ago, Bishan Park was born because his Temple was not allowed to be blocked by any HDB Flats.
Ever wonder why Singapore is known as a Garden City?
Why would Singapore go around planting trees?
After all, maintaining a Garden City is very expensive.
Well, here's the answer:
If you were to look at Singapore from the top, Singapore resembles a Crab, with its Mouth the Singapore River and its Back facing Malaysia. We all know that Cooked Crab (that means Dead Crab) is Red, the colour of Barren Ground. But a Live Crab is basically a Dark Shade of Green.
So,by planting trees, you make Singapore look Green and not Red, and therefore alive.
TWO PROMINENT DISTRICTS:
Lee Kuan Yew runs Tanjung Pagar while Goh Chok Tong is in Marine Parade. If you look at Singapore as a Crab again, these two locations are situated at the positions where the Claws of a Crab will be. We know the strongest parts of a Crab are its Claws, so there they are.
HOW SINGAPORE WAS CONQUERED:
To kill a Crab, you stick the Chopstick at the side of the Crab, which is exactly where the Japanese attacked and conquered Singapore.
KALLANG RIVER CLEAN-UP:
Why clean up a River that spells different memories for many Singaporeans and was one of the reasons for our Prosperity in the early years?
During the 80's Recession, we had just completed the Benjamin Sheares Bridge, which happens to suspend over the Singapore River, the Mouth of the Crab. This is as good as tying the Mouth of the Crab, thus choking it which explains the Recession. In order to get out of it, one way was to clean up the River so that the Mouth is Clean and Wealth can flow in without Obstruction. Sounds Unbelievable? But it seems Logical, doesn't it?
ONE DOLLAR COIN:
Here's another thing for you to think about whether you believe it or not. Please reach into your Pocket and search for a One Dollar Coin, and take a good look at it. It is round, no doubt, but it also has a unique Octagonal design which is an important Symbol in Chinese Geomancy or Feng Shui. This is where the Story of this Coin begins. On the Island of Singapore lived a very Influential Man named Lee. He is very particular about Feng Shui, Man's Balance with Nature. There is a particular day and also time of day to inaugurate any important Event. There is also a particular colour of Dress, when it comes to important Occasions, and so on. He has a Feng Shui Mentor - a Famous Monk, a particular Venerable who died recently. Lee would seek the advice of this Venerable, whenever he had to make an important decision.
The One Dollar Coin came into Circulation at the time of the MRT Construction on the Island (check the date if you don't believe me). The story goes that the Venerable had advised Lee that MRT tunnelling work would be bad for the Feng Shui of the Island, its Prosperity, etc. Firm however on pushing ahead with the project, Lee asked if there was anything that could be done to circumvent the bad Feng Shui. "Yes", replied the Venerable, "but it may be impossible to implement". Said Lee to the Venerable - please speak. The Venerable then said that Every Household on this Island must have or must display a 'Pak Kwa' or Symbolic Octagonal (Eight Sided) object. Oh no, there would definitely be Racial Riots. How could Lee force every household to have a 'Pak Kwa' then at home?
Hehheh... said the wise Lee - I have an idea. I know how to make Everybody like to have as many 'Pak Kwas' as possible and so, our One Dollar Coin was born.
But then, the Economy didn't do quite as well as expected after the Circulation of the One Dollar Coin. Remember the '85/86 recession??
So the Honorary Venerable was consulted again. He said that whilst the One Dollar Coin did symbolise the Pak Kwa, it was of no use if everyone had it in his pocket and failed to Display it. So the next novel idea was born the Road Tax Label If you recall, it used to be round and now, it's Octagon and it is Displayed. Maybe now, you think this explains the many years of Booming Economy Singapore had been experiencing.
However, with the recent turmoil in the region and now that the Venerable is no longer around, what shall we do next? Know any Feng Shui Experts?
By the way, the Monk mentioned is the Ex Head of a Temple. When he passed away several years ago, Bishan Park was born because his Temple was not allowed to be blocked by any HDB Flats.
中国神话故事 Chinese Mythology
盤古 Pan Gu the Giant spilt the Universe into Heaven and Earth and support the Heaven on his shoulder. This is very similar to Atlas of Greek Mythology where he also support the Heaven on his shoulder. The Big Bang Theory where the Universe was created must have some connection to this Legend.
女媧 Nu Wa the Goddess which created Humans out of Clay is very much similar to God in Christian Bible during the Genesis. 伏羲 Fu Xi and 女媧 Nu Wa is the first couple which is having a half human and half serpent body, they are like Adam and Eve in the Christian Bible during the Genesis.
女媧 Nu Wa also later repair the fallen Heaven when 共工 Gong Gong the Flood God destroy the Pillar which supported it when he lost the battle against his father 祝融 Zhu Rong the Fire God. 共工 Gong Gong is known to have nine heads which is very similar to the Hydra in Greek Mythology. This had cause Fire Balls and Great Flood to fall on Earth and 禹 Yu the Great later take over his father 舜 Shun role to control the Flood. This encounter of Great Flood is similar to Noel Ark which save all animals in Christian Bible and Manu in Hindu Rig Vedas which save all seeds of plants. The Legend of Lost City of Atlantis which occur during the end of Ice Age when the North Pole and South Pole shifted to Equator due to Asteroid hit and cause the Ice to melt down.
后羿 Hou Yi is the Hero who shoot down Nine of the Ten Suns which bring Great Drought to the Earth, he was rewarded with a Elixir which allow him to become Immortal. His wife 嫦娥 Chang Er taken the Elixir by mistake and Fly to the Moon and become the Moon Goddess. This is the legend behind the Moon Cake Festival during Mid Autumn.
牛郎 Niu Lang (Cow Boy) saw Seven Fairy taking a bath at the Lake, he steal one set of clothing so that one of the Fairy could not return to Heaven. The Youngest Fairy 織女 Zhi Nu (Tailor Girl) stay back and married 牛郎 Niu Lang (Cow Boy) and they live happily ever after and have two child. The Goddess of Heaven knew about it and order 織女 Zhi Nu(Tailor Girl) to return back to Heaven, the couple were separated from each other and only allow to meet once a year on Seventh Days of Seventh Months at Magpies Bridge. This is the Legend behind the Seventh Eve Festival during the Seventh Days of the Seventh Months.
There is a Monster named 夕 Xi (Eve) or 年 Nian (Year) which come to Earth every year to eat Humans, it was later discovered that the Monster is afraid of Red Colour and Loud Noise. So all people will wear Red and burn Fire Cracker on New Year Eve and New Year to chase away the Monster. So the Night before Chinese New Year is called 除夕Chu Xi (Rid Eve) and Chinese New Year is call 过年 Guo Nian (Past Year).
女媧 Nu Wa the Goddess which created Humans out of Clay is very much similar to God in Christian Bible during the Genesis. 伏羲 Fu Xi and 女媧 Nu Wa is the first couple which is having a half human and half serpent body, they are like Adam and Eve in the Christian Bible during the Genesis.
女媧 Nu Wa also later repair the fallen Heaven when 共工 Gong Gong the Flood God destroy the Pillar which supported it when he lost the battle against his father 祝融 Zhu Rong the Fire God. 共工 Gong Gong is known to have nine heads which is very similar to the Hydra in Greek Mythology. This had cause Fire Balls and Great Flood to fall on Earth and 禹 Yu the Great later take over his father 舜 Shun role to control the Flood. This encounter of Great Flood is similar to Noel Ark which save all animals in Christian Bible and Manu in Hindu Rig Vedas which save all seeds of plants. The Legend of Lost City of Atlantis which occur during the end of Ice Age when the North Pole and South Pole shifted to Equator due to Asteroid hit and cause the Ice to melt down.
后羿 Hou Yi is the Hero who shoot down Nine of the Ten Suns which bring Great Drought to the Earth, he was rewarded with a Elixir which allow him to become Immortal. His wife 嫦娥 Chang Er taken the Elixir by mistake and Fly to the Moon and become the Moon Goddess. This is the legend behind the Moon Cake Festival during Mid Autumn.
牛郎 Niu Lang (Cow Boy) saw Seven Fairy taking a bath at the Lake, he steal one set of clothing so that one of the Fairy could not return to Heaven. The Youngest Fairy 織女 Zhi Nu (Tailor Girl) stay back and married 牛郎 Niu Lang (Cow Boy) and they live happily ever after and have two child. The Goddess of Heaven knew about it and order 織女 Zhi Nu(Tailor Girl) to return back to Heaven, the couple were separated from each other and only allow to meet once a year on Seventh Days of Seventh Months at Magpies Bridge. This is the Legend behind the Seventh Eve Festival during the Seventh Days of the Seventh Months.
There is a Monster named 夕 Xi (Eve) or 年 Nian (Year) which come to Earth every year to eat Humans, it was later discovered that the Monster is afraid of Red Colour and Loud Noise. So all people will wear Red and burn Fire Cracker on New Year Eve and New Year to chase away the Monster. So the Night before Chinese New Year is called 除夕Chu Xi (Rid Eve) and Chinese New Year is call 过年 Guo Nian (Past Year).
Monday, September 13, 2010
Chicken Gun and Space Pen
Chicken Gun
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions. You're going to love this......
NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken."
Space Pen
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 million developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300C.
When confronted with the same problem, the Russians used a pencil.
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.
The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions. You're going to love this......
NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken."
Space Pen
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 million developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300C.
When confronted with the same problem, the Russians used a pencil.
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